It sure had started again. It was evident in my eyes, I could feel the ferocious storm they call fear in my heart. My head was pounding terribly! There was no way I could stop the tears from flowing. My heart kept swelling in my chest like it was going to burst. There was no questioning it, I was definitely having another one of my many "moments". My head began to pound like it always does when I cry hard.
"I have failed!" , there was definitely no way the tears could stop now. My heart shattered, there was no one to talk to, none to share my burden with. I was very much disappointed in myself, how could I have done that! I had very great plans and much confidence in my abilities. Everyone told me I had great potentials, "What happened?!!!! ", I cried out, "What went wrong?!" I screamed, "What did I do wrong?!!!" I thought I would have been able to stop it, I thought I had it all under control. It happened all of a sudden, just like a balloon , it popped in my face. It all came crashing down like a sand castle in the rain.
Out of the blues, I remembered what they always say, that there's someone who is always willing to hear, someone in whom you can always confide. They say, you can cast all your cares upon Him, perhaps it will work, I'll give it a try I thought. So, I sat very still, tried to be as calm as possible but nothing! I was expecting to hear that voice but it never came, I felt worse, "even He is refusing to help, perhaps He too has deserted me". Fresh rivers of tears gushed out from my eyes, "I'm going to put an end to this miserable life of mine". I was definitely in over my head.
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